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The Rambling Insomniac
Tom is a 25+ year resident of Germantown and the surrounding community. He currently lives in Hubertus with his wife and two small kids on a hobby farm near Bark Lake. Tom's blog will likely not save the world, but hopefully, you'll get some enjoyment from his ramblings.
November 2007 - Posts
By Tom White
Friday, Nov 23 2007, 07:10 AM
Let me start by apologizing to my loyal readers (Hi Mom and Dad!) for my lack of blogs lately. I’ve spent the past two weeks at deer camp, and an internet-ready P/C is not one of the luxuries provided at the shack.
So anyway, for those unfamiliar with the “art” of deer hunting from tree stands, let me describe it to you. You place a ladder, seat, chair or similar device into a tree in the middle of the woods; you sit there; and you wait for a deer to come by. That’s about it (well, there is much more to it, but that’s not my point here). One of the beauties of hunting this way is it affords the hunter countless hours of peace and serenity to contemplate all of life’s problems, issues and mysteries. You know, normal stuff like family problems, politics, finances, work issues, potential landscape projects, Christmas shopping, etc. So as usual, I went to deer camp this year with several big issues on my mind that I felt I could spend some quality time with, and hopefully bring to resolution. Well, that was the plan anyway.
It’s truly amazing what happens to a man’s mind after he spends several hours sitting in a deer stand. Maybe it’s just me, and I’ll admit that. However, while sitting there staring at the same leaf blowing back and forth for hours on end, I get hypnotized and my brain starts meaninglessly wandering. I drift off into random movie lines, stupid random thoughts, song lyrics, crazy questions that I don’t know the answers too and who knows what else. For me, it goes something like this……
”Do wild turkeys realize it’s the week of Thanksgiving?”
“Go ahead, make my day”
“Please God, just let one big buck walk out right now”
“Oh crap, I forgot to bring a beer out here”
“Commemorative bucks of Michigan!”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Oh God, I’m sorry for asking you to send a buck my way. That’s selfish”
“I got a shotgun a rifle and a four-wheel drive, and a country boy can survive”
“Elliot Yamin. Elliot Yamean. Elliot Yamoan. Why am I thinking about that guy?”
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmas”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Why are crows so loud and are they scaring all the deer away?”
“Black Crows. Counting Crows. Man, I really have to blow my nose”
“And if you get the chance, you are a dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen”
“What bar did we go to last night?”
“Are there any deer even in these woods”
“Did the pilgrims have to wait until deer season to shoot a deer, or could they just blast away whenever they wanted to”
“I got a rock” (classic Charlie Brown line)
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Do woodpeckers ever get a headache?”
“I hear so many shots going off. Is every guy in this county except me killing deer?”
“Say hello to my leetle friend”
“It’s these dang turkeys scaring away all the deer”
“I need a smoke”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Click, click, boom”
“And I had, the time of my life, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”
“Where are all the freeking deer!?!?”
“Crazy, crazy for felling so lonely”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“What time is it anyway?”
At this point, I’d look at my watch and realize it’s exactly seven minutes later than it was the last time I looked at my watch, and then, the entire cycle begins to repeat itself. Ugh!
It goes without saying that I didn’t solve any of my own issues, or for that matter the world’s issues while I was in my deer stand this year. I did however manage to harvest a nice size doe, saw about a million turkeys and enjoyed some beautiful peace and tranquility in Wisconsin’s North Woods. I guess that’s probably even better than wasting time solving problems that will always be there anyway?
G’Night G’Town!
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. ~Steven Wright
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By Tom White
Monday, Nov 12 2007, 09:07 PM
Dear Deer,
It’s been some time since we’ve seen each other, and I feel like we need to talk. For eight or more years in a row, we were on quite a roll, and I thought we were so happy. Each year that Thanksgiving week would come, I’d sit patiently in my tree stand, and soon enough, you or one of your friends would come walking my way. I remember how delighted my buddies and I would be to see you “hanging” around deer camp for the rest of the week. We’d even take a load off of your back, and promptly fire up the grill to celebrate! I hold precious memories in my mind of all our rendezvous together, but unfortunately, we’ve drifted apart. It’s now been three whole years since we last hooked up.
I’m deeply saddened by this, and I’m not sure exactly what I did to upset you? Why have you been avoiding me for the past three years? I do realize that I may not have always been there for you, but I was seriously trying to figure some things out for myself. I know that I spent more time in the bar with my friends than I did waiting to see you. For that, I have some deep regrets. But although I was hanging out with them, I promise you that I was always thinking about you.
Three years is a long time apart, and time has changed things. I’ve changed, and you’ve changed. Oh deer, this is so hard for me to say, but I’m just not sure that I love you anymore. But please don’t be hurt by this. Honestly, it’s not your fault, it’s just me. You know you’re like a brother to me, and I really still want to be your friend.
So anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d still like to see you. You know where my deer stand is, and you are always welcome to come by. All the boys back at camp would love it if you could come and hang out like you did back in the good old days.
Hope to see you soon deer.
FF
-Tom
G’Night G’Town!
Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians.
~Ted Nugent
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By Tom White
Sunday, Nov 4 2007, 05:15 AM
If you are reading this on Sunday morning, hopefully you remembered to turn your clocks back one hour already, as today is when Daylight Savings Time begins. A couple of observations on this: First off, what’s the story with the whole “It’s Daylight Savings, you better change the batteries in your smoke alarms” deal? Not sure about you, but any smoke alarm I’ve ever owned drives me crazy beeping at me when the batteries need to be replaced. Maybe I take that for granted, but using a date to remind me to do something I’ll be reminded of anyway doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. It’s sort of like, “Gee, Winter Solstice starts today, I better go change all the light bulbs in my house”. Why would I do something so unnecessary!? Maybe the battery companies are somehow in cahoots with the Daylight Savings Time Agency (is there even a Daylight Savings Time Agency?).
Next, I have to admit I struggle with the “math” related to daylight savings. Now keep in mind, math has always been a strong suit for me, but my brain just seems to go haywire when it comes to computing Daylight Savings times. Yeah, yeah “spring forward, fall back”….I get it. It’s envisioning the effect of this on the following days events that gets me all screwed up. When planning a round of golf for this Sunday morning, my friend Dave quickly computed “Well, at least it’ll be a little warmer at 9am in the morning because of Daylight Savings”. WTH? I’m still trying to figure that one out!
Lastly, I’m not a big fan of this all time changing stuff happening at 2am. People get so excited and shout with glee “Oh, we get an extra hour of sleep tonight!” Who cares? I loathe sleep. It’s a waste of precious life if you ask me. Now stick with me on this one…..say for example, instead of setting our clocks back at 2am, we did it at 2pm. So, somewhere in the middle the third quarter of the Packer game today, suddenly it’s only 1 o’clock! The game would be over by 2 o’clock, and the Patriots/Colts game wouldn’t even start for another hour. We’d have an entire “extra” hour smack dab in the middle of the day when we could really use it! Just think of all the things you could do with that hour! Clean the gutters, take a nap, play with the kids, take a walk, bake a pie, change the stupid batteries in your smoke alarms, etc. Then again, this theory probably wouldn’t work real well when we “spring forward” in spring.
I probably sound real critical about the whole Daylight Savings issue. I’m really not. I’m just a little grumpy because I didn’t sleep real well last night. I’d go back to bed right now, but honestly, it would be too much work for my brain to figure out what time it really is right now.
G’Night G’Town!
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
~ Pink Floyd
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